The Bidet: A Step Towards a Brighter Future

Imagine now, you’re outside in a park, enjoying the gentle breeze, the warm sun, and the manicured nature you stand in. Now entertain the thought of aliens coming down to earth, landing in that very park, leaving their spaceship they come up to you and begin asking about how humans live. 

They ask about how we survive, what we do for shelter, and what we do for fuel. Shelter is an easy answer, you say that we all live in houses, some of stone, some of wood. Then next you get onto fuel. You say that we humans eat food of various types, and most importantly you mention the life-giving substance known as water, good ole’ H2O. Now the alien, being of the inquisitive types of other worldly beings, asks what you do with spent fuel. And you reply of course with poop! You describe how we humans sit on our porcelain thrones and flush away our spent fuel to the depths of the sewer realm. 

Now the Alien gets really curious. The question comes up now of how everything is cleaned up afterwards. Now this catches you by surprise but you reply with “Well, we use toilet paper”.  The Alien quickly chimes in, “What is this ‘Toilet Paper’ made of?”. So you look around and spot a large pine tree. With its thick bark, commanding height, and copious boughs of fine green needles, a fine tree but the alien is a bit surprised. “You clean your sensitive spent fuel disposal areas with that!?” And you ponder that for a moment. “That is kinda crazy when you really think about it”.

So now the Alien comes in with a brilliant idea. Why not use that amazing, energising, life giving substance that you mentioned before for cleaning those sensitive body parts. Now that makes sense. It makes so much sense, you wonder why you’ve never thought of this before! And now you, my friend, have discovered the bidet.

The bidet is one of those personal discoveries that cannot be ignored. A change that you can never return from. The experience of the refreshing and subtle spray that so elegantly cleans, reimagines the entire bathroom experience. Instead of living a life that is controlled by brittle paper from a lifeless cardboard roll, you transition to one that is enhanced by the bidet. Water has guides and brings life to us as humans. We already use it to cleanse our hands and bodies when they are dirty. So why not those body areas that are even dirtier. 

While it may be scary at first, the bidet truly moves a person. Getting away from the endless task of wiping that only leaves pain and suffering in its wake. The bidet cleanses and leaves one feeling revitalised: like jumping into a lake on a warm summer's morning, awakening that deep connection to nature that every person has within.

The bidet is a step towards a brighter tomorrow, taking humanity to a future of less toilet paper and cleaner perineums.