Top 6 Worst Places to Poop

Hello fellow bathroom warriors! While we all strive to have good poops, sometimes those are just not in the cards. Sometimes it’s a questionable diet, sometimes it’s a busy day, but the where aspect can play a huge part in your poop happiness. So here’s a list of 6 worst places to poop.

1. Music Festival Porta Potty

Ah, the music festival experience! The electrifying performances, the vibrant atmosphere, and the aromatic porta potties. It's the place where your need to go collides with your need to hold your breath. As you enter one of these colourful cabins of doom, you're welcomed by a medley of smells that could stun a buffalo. The floor resembles a swamp, and the toilet paper, well, it's more like sandpaper. Time seems to stand still, trying to ground yourself in this new reality you find yourself in. You find yourself questioning your life choices as you do your business in the loudest silence imaginable.

2. School Bathroom in Between Classes

Ah, high school memories. The bell rings, and you have a mere five minutes to traverse the never-ending corridors and find relief in the school bathroom. Unfortunately, the bathroom door seems to be a portal to an alternate dimension, because it's always mysteriously jammed shut. When you finally gain entry, you're met with graffiti masterpieces and a symphony of flushless toilets. If you're a little late getting there after class, well, good luck even getting a stall.

3. Road Trip Gas Station

You've been cruising down the highway, singing along to your favorite tunes, when suddenly, nature calls. The only refuge in sight is a gas station restroom that hasn't seen a mop since the dawn of time. The stalls feel like a game of Russian roulette: some have broken locks, some have missing toilet seats, and some... well, you don't want to know what some have. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so you hold your breath and pray for a quick escape from this biohazard zone.

4. The Bar at 1:00 am

Picture this: it's the peak of the night at your favourite watering hole. The dance floor is packed, the music is blasting, and the line for the bathroom is longer than the list of things you’d rather be doing. You finally make it to the throne, only to be serenaded by the sweet symphony of drunk people attempting to belt out the latest pop hit. Meanwhile, the bathroom itself looks like a crime scene from a horror movie – not a place for the faint of heart or weak stomachs.

5. Long Haul Flight Airplane Bathroom

Air travel can be an exciting adventure, but not when it comes to using the lavatory on a long-haul flight. Picture yourself contorting into a human origami just to fit inside the world's smallest bathroom cubicle. As you press that flush button, you pray that the vacuum of space doesn't accidentally swallow you whole. And the turbulence? Brace yourself and hang on tight!

6. First Poop at the In-laws

Meeting the in-laws for the first time can be nerve-wracking, and the last thing you need is a bout of digestive distress. Yet, your body seems to have a wicked sense of humor. As you're welcomed into their home, your stomach churns like a washing machine stuck on a spin cycle. The guest bathroom seems to be miles away, and you contemplate sprinting for the nearest bushes outside. Somehow, you survive the ordeal, but now you're bonded with your in-laws in a way you never imagined – through the trials and tribulations of a bathroom emergency.

So there you have it, the "Top 6 Worst Places to Poop." Remember, life is full of surprises, and sometimes, those surprises come out at the most inconvenient times and in the most inconvenient places. But fear not, brave bathroom-goers, for these experiences will surely leave you with stories to tell and a healthy appreciation for a well-maintained restroom. Happy pooping!